Getting older is such an odd thing for me. I mean, I don’t feel any older but I keep looking at people working at McDonald’s or the tanning salon and think “they can’t be old enough to work, they’re just kids!” When did this happen? At what point did I forget I was ageing, and how is it only now occurring to me that I am an ADULT! (shivers)
I’m not freaking out, really I’m not. I am okay with getting older, I refuse to EVER be embarrassed or ashamed of my age. I want to always shout it loud and proud, however, it’s still a strange phenomenon, Even stranger are the things, people, and events that jump out at me and say “earth to RoRo! You aren’t a baby anymore!” For example……
My whole life I have hung around people older than me. I am 25 and most of my friends are 30 or older. Shoot, my CB (Cute Boyfriend) is even 10 yrs older than I am. Therefore I have grown acustom to being the baby of the group and have built a very tough exterior to the jokes that come with that particular position. Well, the other night CB and I are hanging with some of our friends and there is a girl there that I had never met. I couldn’t help but keep looking at her to try and figure out how old she was, she looked really young and I just couldn’t stop myself. Finally I just asked her, “how old are you?” and she said 21! I was so excited! I’m not the baby anymore, now they can tease her, and better yet, I get to too! It was a new and exciting idea for me however, there was another strange sensation in my gut that I couldn’t figure out. Well, me being me I couldn’t let it go. I had to figure out what this weird feeling I was having was all about. Eventually I figured it out, I was jealous! She took my spot. I am no longer “the baby” she is, and now where do I fit?
As I grow older my roles in society are changing, hell, my roles in my family are changing. I can’t act a fool in public and get away with it anymore, (not that it stops me, I just don’t get away with it). Clerks at the stores say “yes Ma’am” to me, I no longer expect Christmas gifts, and my birthday is no longer a big deal. (Hold the phone… yes it is. Well, maybe just to me.) Either way, things are changing around me, and I am seeing that perhaps that means things need to be changing within me as well.
I’m not sure where to go with this. I wish I had an epiphany to share of how my life is changing for the better and how wonderful getting older is, but I don’t. I am only just realising that it is occurring. Again don’t misunderstand my tone here, I am not saddened by this change I am simply in awe. What an exciting journey life is, and what incredible things we get to experience. This is just one step up if you will, a small learning hill in a life full of mountains, valleys, and plateaus. Life’s not full of hugs and kisses but how you choose to perceive the world is how you get to live it.
Much Love,
RoRo